Once upon a time…

In the old city of Orange, in the great state of California,

A charming wedding changed two into one,

And upon the news,

The sun couldn’t resist but to paint the city gold.

(A sweet summer wedding post is on its way)

This engagement session kind of… sort of.. really won my heart.

But I did made one big mistake:

I should have added in the photography contract that I need them to move to California.

In the fine print, our contract would read,

“Must move here by tomorrow, live on my street, and hang out as much as I ask. By reading this contract, you hereby agree to the document, and its extended terms.” Cool? Cool.

SO.MUCH.MORE.BEAUTY to share. Coming soon!

It goes without saying, I’ve been to many beautiful weddings in my day.

Like, lot and lots. and lots.

But, I must say… I’ve never been to a wedding as fun as this one:

Hey Rachele and Tyler— whatever you did, you did it right.

Even for someone “on the job”… this celebration was the sort that I truly didn’t want to end. Not just for my sake, but for the sake of the attendants. I don’t think any of them had that great of a time, if not all summer, all year.

I have this confident feeling, that as the guests piled home, they talked about how epic the Gardner dance session was, and then woke up, and still talked about it more, and then went to work, and probably texted people they ran into, and said something like, “I wish they got married more often.”

I did. I thought about their wedding for several days to come. Racking my brain, trying to figure out how they made it so enjoyable… for everyone. What’s the trick? I need the trick!

Here’s what I came to:

It wasn’t because of the venue. They married at the temple in Newport Beach, and had the reception in the groom’s backyard.

It wasn’t because of some expensive DJ. They had their friends play live music on the side of the backyard hill.

It wasn’t because of the dress, as Rachele put it, she had, “Just found it recently.”

It wasn’t because of the food, although, the food did come in close second– they catered Cafe Rio, and it was silly good.

See, all of these things were (seriously) wonderful, but nothing too opulent. Nor too extravagant.

You want to know what it was? (I know you do…)

It was the bride. and the groom. They… not exaggerating… were smiling the entire time, with only breaks of laughter.

I have never seen two people so, for lack of better words, laid back, or comfortable, on their wedding day. They left any pretentious attitudes behind. They abandoned expectations of something lavish. They came, as themselves, with enough confidence in their union, to worry about securing the fun in anything else.

Their presence was marked by unwavering elation. Not only in visiting with their guests, but even in the more subtle and quiet moments with just me. They. Just. Didn’t. Stop. Smiling.

It brings me to happy tears remembering our moments photographing at the beach. I want that. I want that for every bride and groom. That uncontainable joy that seeps from their time together.

Rachele and Tyler– you have inspired me. I will not forget how contagious your joy was. I will not forget where your expectations were invested. I will not forget your stunning summer day wedding. I feel better prepared for mine by being a guest at yours.

Love you two, times ten.

Whitney

The princess has arrived:

Prepare for pink things, plenty of sass, and  kissable cheeks brought to you by baby Aspen.

Kisses. Sand. Water. Family. Friends. Sunshine.

Yep, they did it right.

A summer wedding story coming soon…

One of the coolest perks of marriage is the immediate inheritance of family. One minute you’ve got two parents, the next four. Your two sisters become five, and your brotherless-ness is voided. Now your sharing bathrooms on holidays with people you didn’t know a few years ago, and even more than that, you’ve got the same last name. All of a sudden, Christmas time looks WAY more exciting, and electric, and… expensive, but whateva. Their family. They’ll understand the gift of regiving. Maybe.

For only-children, the ability to inherit siblings for the first time must be REALLY special. And for those who have lost a parent, or sadly sometimes both, to inherit your fiancé’s must make you feel rich. I write about this luxury from experience. I lost my father at nine, and have been earnestly awaiting my fiancé’s dad to become a fatherly figure in my own life. I get goosebumps even thinking about having a “real life dad.”

There is a whole gamut of emotions that tag along with this spoken reward: excitement, curiosity, honor, to name a few. I feel like this process of becoming a part of an extended family isn’t to be taken lightly, because what you pour into these relationships is something that will drip for the entirety of the marriage. You confidently invest in this unity, in these people once strangers to you, because now these people contribute to the health– the fruit– of your family tree.

I strongly respect Max and Julie’s story, because their reality of becoming a family is bigger than I will ever know, firsthand. Max is not only marrying Julie, but is marrying the lifelong idea of fathering her sweet little daughter, Mahayla.

As much I am saddened by the many families that have fallen apart, I am equally encouraged that there are men like Max who are stepping into roles that may seem intimidating. I am encouraged by women like Julie who press forward, trustingly, into a vibrant future. What an amazing Author of Life, writing another heartening story to follow. God redeems in such unique and precious ways. Glory to Him, for making the love he’s modeled to us so personal to each of our lives.

Now, let’s cheer them on, as they will officially begin their journey, tomorrow at the Chapman Chapel in Orange! Woohoo!

Praying for you both, on this eve of something beautiful–

Love, Whitney

One of the reasons I appreciate photography the most, is because, in a sense, I’m enrolled in a continuous education.

I am perpetually cultured by the different families whose lives I capture. It is a crucial part of my trade to learn the said family’s dynamic, in order to creatively and honestly portray their relationship. It would be blatantly naive to assume that every relationship is more or less the same, so to photograph them based on a generalized assumption seems cheap. To me, this mistake cultivates cookie-cutter products– which I find not just cheap, but quite insulting.

Although any of my clients would quickly attest that I tend to be a chatter bug, I think most would admit that by the end of our session, they truly have a comfortable relationship with their photographer. This doesn’t happen, every time, by chance. But I must add, it isn’t a science or a formula that creates this dynamic. Instead, it is due to a perspective I have adopted from my brilliant fiance, (yet again).

When Andrew and I first started talking, long before we dated, we were on the phone one night, and I was reading to him something by one of my favorite poets, Matthew Arnold. I was reciting, and simultaneously commenting, on a poem he hadn’t heard before, but was now captivated by. He said, “Whitney, I want to make myself a student of your life.” There are few things I’ll be able to quote forever (my brain tends to be horribly forgetful for the most part), but I assure you, I will never forget those words: they have transformed the way I think about others. This helps me to not be threatened by people more patient, more wise, more tender, or more strong than me. If I see myself as a student, and I devote myself to the learning, then I position myself to be an heir of their knowledge. Now how bad could that be? Insecurity, self doubt, jealousy– see ya later. No time for such if I quiet my pride.

Every time I meet and photograph a family- a c0uple- a person- my interaction with them becomes a course of study. I make myself  their student, intentionally, because I know if I don’t, I’m missing perhaps the greatest privilege of my job.

Nielsen family: A lesson entitled: How to Shine, duly noted.

Like a diamond, your light catches the eye:

In fact, your family is marked by its luster. In the spirit of care and respect for one another, each of you shine, not on your own, but in the beaming adoration of one another.

Just two hours before Andrew asked me to marry him, I spent time exploring Casper’s Park with these two lovely birdies:

Two lovely birdies who are currently working towards building one treasured nest.

At the time, I wasn’t yet engaged, and could only imagine what they must feel–

These days spent preparing for the epic merging of hearts.

Walking amidst the growing greens turned golden, I breathed deeply, inhaling what was alive and natural around me:

For a stem, a flower,

For a boy, a girl.

In their company, the time passed unhurriedly. I noticed the turning of minutes not by a clock watched, but by the shadows cast by a sun now melted into hills beyond us. This love, this place, it belongs.

I thought about their season of engagement, how it must feel to be on the brink of something greater–

Like a new leaf caught on the edge of an old cliff, waiting for that last gust, a thrill, but peacefully anticipating a falling that feels more like floating.

Ecstatic, clearly, I thought. But far from spastic excitement, these two modeled assurance. Comfort. Ease. Tranquility.

Without knowing it, they postured me for this spoken season, one that I’d soon share with them.

Lauren and Josh, thank you for helping prepare my heart for what became the greatest evening of my life.

Your love comes natural.

Love, Whitney

We’ve all heard it said many times before, “You’re going to learn so much more, once you’re married.”

For some of us, on the other side of it, we sort of expect cliche tidbits like that every now and then. Yeah, we sort of expect that people will try to help us out, but won’t know exactly what to say, because they tell us every relationship is just so different. They’ll tell us these things, I think, because they want the best for us, but without being in our relationship, aren’t quite sure exactly what it is we still haven’t learned.

There has to be something, I’ve thought to myself, that is a general rule of thumb across the board of successful relationships. Sure all of our relationships are a little different, but we’re all human, so there has to be a common denominator somewhere, right?

Right. So when given the opportunity, instead of leaving the unhelpful advice a little more confused, I pry. Hey, if they opened the door, I’ll barge right in and clean the place out– glean their hard earned wisdom if willing, because Lord knows those lessons weren’t always learned the easy way. I’m in no way interested in reinventing the wheel.

In conversation, some claim they’ve become wiser since being married– that perhaps they’ve learn more about the world, about how people work, as they’ve most intimately stepped outside their own interest and invested in the well being of another. I’ve seen proud men laugh at themselves in my response to my asking, “So what is it, that you’ve learned?” Or maybe, they were laughing at me, because maybe I’m a little too intense sometimes. But that’s neither here nor there, in my story, they were laughing at themselves.

I’ve seen women, feeling completely defeated by their assumptions of what marriage would look like. And, I’ve heard both men and women alike, humbly offer how they’ve done it, that is, went to bed and woke up next to the same person in all their committed years. The common denominator, folks, in which they’ve all responded, is Grace.

“Give as much grace as you think you’ll need,” they say. Well shesh, that sounds difficult.

Although the “what-for” will change every day, the forgiving, they say, will be a crucial seam, a hem throughout the relationship, that keeps it from unravelling. Forgiveness for little things– “How is it so hard to move his underwear from the bathroom floor to the hamper?” Or big things, “How could she have been confused about that boundary, it felt so clear?” I can imagine for many people, having to countlessly forgive someone seems heart-wrenching, and even tiring. Especially so, if they don’t feel forgiven themselves. Some carry a weight that drags behind as they tow guilt, the blame of a relationship gone sour, and so on. For those people, I can imagine Grace seems impossible, especially because they don’t know it. And although we could blame others for it’s displacement in our own lives, the one we need it from THE MOST, has actually already given it to us. Maybe we’ve looked for it in the wrong place, blamed the wrong person, and hence, need to forgive ourselves first.

Those of us who know the wings of grace, us who go to bed, once feeling sorry but now feeling forgiven, once feeling heavy, but now so light, we know grace isn’t something we’ve righteously earned. Therefore, we need not to discern who it belongs to. If it wasn’t earned by us, and yet it was given, the same rule of thumb is (or should be) paid forward. It belongs to everyone, claims God, through Jesus.

If we believe that grace knows no bounds for ourselves, that although we are not entitled to it, but are somehow given it, than we believe in what God has done. Than we’ve accepted his gift, whether or not we’ve given him the credit. And if we outwardly believe in what God has done, we then believe what he thinks about us is correct, that we are broken, but we need fixing, that we can’t always fix, so we need help. He calls that help, grace.

The most practical way to then live what we believe, is to pay that gift forward.

In all my asking, and all their telling, I redundantly hear that Grace is how you stay married. That being in love was the engine that started the train, but grace is the momentum that keeps it moving.

Brooke and Cody, if I know anything about your relationship, I know each of you loved God before you loved one another. I hope you both model how you know Him, by how you love Him, by then loving His people, first within your own home.

I pray you both give grace freely, and that in the grace you are given, are encouraged to grow to places that require a little less of it.

Love Always, Whitney