Here’s why getting married rules: You get to choose your family.

You know when your heart bends a little bit, so much so that it actually hurts-so-good, because something someone said was just that striking? That’s what happened in conversation with Brooke while walking down Newport Street in Ocean Beach; she said a painfully endearing comment that resonated long after her sentence was finished. And what she said wasn’t for the sake of rhetoric. I was convinced by the sincerity in her eyes when she told me that one of the things she most appreciated about Matt was family, that by marrying him his would become hers, that he would be her family.

And after spending some time with them, I know exactly why Brooke would say something like that. After six years of dating, they’ve experienced the honeymoon stage, and triumphed reality. Matt said they’ve waited to tie the knot because they wanted “to know”– and further, now he “knows.” He doesn’t hide his assurance, nor does he wear it pridefully. He doesn’t need grand gestures to explain how he feels. It’s in moments when she throws her head back and laughs, and he studies her adoringly. And in moments when she’s walking at his side and his arm magnetically wraps around her shoulders. He says he “knows” with the comfort he exudes in her presence.

No show. No cheese. No veneer. Just a calm, authentic love.

We often overlook the blessings of family, because it’s been ours since birth. The feeling we got as a child when someone said something awful, and all mom had to do was offer a hug, her presence, anything, and we could feel better. The knowing that after a lonely day, your brother or sister will just be there when you get home, in the room next door if you need someone to hear your side of the story. The feeling that no matter how you feel, what you said, or why you did it– they aren’t going anywhere. They are your family. They’re going to be there to love you when you wake up tomorrow.

This is the sort of love Brooke and Matt personify. The “I’ll be here to love you when you wake up tomorrow” sort of love. Because they’re choosing to get married. Because they’re choosing to be family.

Brookie and Matt, thank you so much for reminding me of something so simple and important. Your story is loved. -WD